


To End It All

by MoonalineMariaGia2004



Series: SWR: Gay One-Shots [29]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Love, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28745982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonalineMariaGia2004/pseuds/MoonalineMariaGia2004
Summary: Kanan wants to die. Rex stops him.
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/CT-7567 | Rex
Series: SWR: Gay One-Shots [29]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724557
Kudos: 4





	To End It All

**Author's Note:**

> For 317345maddie: "I know you’re probably used to this scenario but can you do one where Kanan tries to kill himself and rex stops him?"
> 
> Enjoy!

Kanan felt nothing but numbness as he slowly made his way to the top of a cliff. He stared down at the edge then looked down to stare at his lightsaber. He sighed.

That month was... hell, to say the least. Ezra's parents were killed after their attempted escape. Ezra had practically shutdown at the news, shutting himself in his and Zeb's room with no chance of leaving. Zeb was stuck to comfort him, but the Lasat didn't mind. Hera, Sabine and Ahsoka left for a mission that nearly got themselves captured. They were recovering now, but they were still in no condition to go on any mission. He was suppose to be going on missions in place of them, but Commander Sato needed him to manage Atollon and Chopper Base while Hera was healing, so he was stuck planetside.

But he couldn't manage Hera's work. It was more than he thought. He had assigned missions to each group of the Phoenix Squadron, and almost half of them were killed while others were badly injured.

Rex was one of them. He had to take the hit, and it got himself with a hurt arm, along with a nearly-burnt leg. Kanan couldn't even believe it when the news came to him. He practically ran to Rex's bedside on the med-bay and begged for forgiveness, which was something the clone told him that he didn't need to do because he didn't blame the Jedi for what happened to them in the mission.

Kanan still blamed himself for it. The guilt was practically scratching the back of his mind. First, Ezra for the loss of his parents, then Hera, Ahsoka and Sabine's lives on a risk because he wasn't there to help, and now, Rex, the one he had secretly been pining over (not that he'd admit such a thing), because of his terrible way to assign people on missions.

He wasn't cut out for this. He wasn't a commander, heck, he wasn't even a Jedi. He was just a Padawan, a child forced to grow up because of time, trauma and the war. He wasn't cut out for anything. He didn't deserve anything.

With a click and a hiss, his lightsaber burst into life. He closed his eyes and set the blade near his neck, lifting one foot up over to the edge of the cliff. He felt his balance tip over to the cliff, but he cared none of it.

He wanted to leave every pain he had ever felt in the world. Leave those whom he love to not hurt them further.

Just as he forced himself to lose balance, a yell came through the silence of the air.

"KANAN!"

Said Jedi flinched but didn't move. Instead he shut his eyes tighter and tipped himself further.

He couldn't take it. No, he couldn't take the sound of the clone. Not now, not ever---

"KANAN, STOP!"

Strong arms grabbed him by the waist and pulled him away from the cliff. He gasped, eyes opening and widening in horror and shock as he was pulled away. He dropped his lightsaber as he was turned around, his aquamarine eyes meeting the clone's amber ones.

"R-Rex?"

"Kanan, what were you THINKING?!" Rex hissed at the Jedi, whose eyes shakily roamed down at the clone to see him still bandaged and not fully recovered yet. "How could you KILL yourself like that?! What about Hera?! Sabine?! Zeb?! Ezra?! Ahsoka?! Me?! How did you think we would have felt to see your BATTERED CORPSE AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS CLIFF?!"

"YOU'D BE HAPPY, THAT'S WHAT!" Kanan couldn't hold in he tears that rolled down from his eyes and stained his face. "I MESSED EVERYTHING UP! IT'S MY FAULT YOU GOT HURT! IT'S MY FAULT THAT EVERYONE'S HURT! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT! I DESERVE TO DIE, AND YOU KNOW I DO! I'M NOTHING BUT A BIG FAILURE TO THE REBELLION AND TO THE CREW!"

"How DARE you say that?!" Rex's grip on the Jedi tightened, his own tears threatening to prick his eyes. "You tried your best to fill in Hera's shoes, but not everyone is perfect! The accident wasn't your fault! None of it is! It isn't your fault that Ezra's parents are gone! It isn't your fault that the girls are badly injured! And it is NEVER your fault that I'm injured either! You can't blame yourself for everything that happened, Kanan, because none of it is your fault! Everyone loves you!" His breath hitched as he wiped his tears. "I... I love you,"

Kanan's tearful eyes widened in surprise, a deep blush moving across his face. "You... love me? But... But how? I'm... I'm terrible,"

"You're anything but terrible," Rex shook his head then he kissed the Jedi with as much passion as he could muster.

Kanan was taken back, but it only took a moment for him to melt in, eyes closing as he felt the other pull him closer. They soon pulled away, with Rex wiping away the Jedi's tears.

"I..." Kanan let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry..."

"Never... Never do that again," Rex sniffled his own tears. "Please, Kanan,"

Kanan nodded and smiled. The clone was relieved and held the other close to him, neither of them moving from the spot. Not that they wanted to.


End file.
